A sailor and a priest were playing golf. The sailor took his first shot missed and said, "Fuck, I missed." Surprised, the priest replied, "Don�t use that kind of language or god will punish you." The sailor took aim and hit his shot second shot. Again he missed and under his breath the said, "I fuck�n missed again." The priest overheard and replied, "My son, please don�t use that language or god will punish you." The sailor took his third shot and once again he couldn�t help mutter, "Oh fuck�" The priest said, "That�s it god will certainly punish you." Suddenly a bolt of lightning came down and killed the priest. In the distance a deep voice said, "FUCK, I Missed"
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One day, heaven is beginning to fill up (of course due to the population explosion), so St. Peter decides to ask each person a question about the bible before they can enter. Three men stand at the pearly gates, waiting to get into heaven. "How many wise men were there?" St. Peter asks the first man. "Three." He answers, and the trumpets sound, the gates open, and the first man enters.
"How long did the flood last?" St. Peter asks the second man. "Forty days and forty nights." He answers, and the trumpets sound, the gates open and the second man enters. Seeing how easily the first two answered his trivia, St. Peter thinks of a much more difficult question for the second man. Finally, he asks, "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam in the Garden?"
The man thinks and thinks, but can't come up with an answer. "Boy, that's a hard one," he finally says. And the trumpets blow, the gates open, and the last man enters heaven. |