Gr8 excuses of programmers

saggygenius · 03-10-2008, 07:10 PM

"That’s weird..."

"It’s never done that before."

"It worked yesterday."

"How is that possible?"

"It must be a hardware problem."

"What did you type in wrong to get it to crash?"

"There’s something funky in your data."

"I haven’t touched that module in weeks!"

"You must have the wrong version."

"It’s just some unlucky coincidence."

"I can’t test everything!"

"This can’t be the source of that."

"It works, but it hasn’t been tested."

"Somebody must have changed my code."

"Did you check for a virus on your system?"

"Even though it doesn’t work, how does it feel?"

And the Number One reply by programmers when their programs don’t work:
"It works on my machine."

saggygenius · 03-10-2008, 07:16 PM

more programming jokes

A project manager, a computer programmer and a computer operator are driving down the road when the car they are in gets a flat tire. The three men try to solve the problem.

The project manager said: "Let's catch a cab and in ten minutes we'll reach our destination."

The computer programmer said: "We have here the driver's guide. I can easily replace the flat tire and continue our drive."

The computer operator said: "First of all, let's turn off the engine and turn it on again. Maybe it will fix the problem."

Suddenly a Microsoft software engineer passed by and said: "Try to close all windows, get off the car, and then get in and try again."
__________________________________________________ ________________________
Q: Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up?
A: Because DEC 25 = OCT 31
__________________________________________________ ____________________________
Q: How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day?
A: Give him a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat."
__________________________________________________ _______________________
A system programmer came home from work almost at dawn and told his wife enthusiastically: "Tonight I have installed a new release of MVS/ESA together with VM/CMS and CICS/VS".
"G.O.O.D" answered his wife.

03-10-2008, 07:10 PM	#1 (permalink)
saggygenius SUB Mega Star Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: mumbai Posts: 1,084	Gr8 excuses of programmers "That’s weird..." "It’s never done that before." "It worked yesterday." "How is that possible?" "It must be a hardware problem." "What did you type in wrong to get it to crash?" "There’s something funky in your data." "I haven’t touched that module in weeks!" "You must have the wrong version." "It’s just some unlucky coincidence." "I can’t test everything!" "This can’t be the source of that." "It works, but it hasn’t been tested." "Somebody must have changed my code." "Did you check for a virus on your system?" "Even though it doesn’t work, how does it feel?" And the Number One reply by programmers when their programs don’t work: "It works on my machine."

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03-10-2008, 07:16 PM	#2 (permalink)
saggygenius SUB Mega Star Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: mumbai Posts: 1,084	more programming jokes A project manager, a computer programmer and a computer operator are driving down the road when the car they are in gets a flat tire. The three men try to solve the problem. The project manager said: "Let's catch a cab and in ten minutes we'll reach our destination." The computer programmer said: "We have here the driver's guide. I can easily replace the flat tire and continue our drive." The computer operator said: "First of all, let's turn off the engine and turn it on again. Maybe it will fix the problem." Suddenly a Microsoft software engineer passed by and said: "Try to close all windows, get off the car, and then get in and try again." __________________________________________________ ________________________ Q: Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up? A: Because DEC 25 = OCT 31 __________________________________________________ ____________________________ Q: How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day? A: Give him a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat." __________________________________________________ _______________________ A system programmer came home from work almost at dawn and told his wife enthusiastically: "Tonight I have installed a new release of MVS/ESA together with VM/CMS and CICS/VS". "G.O.O.D" answered his wife.