angel228

Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut.
May I have your..."

Customer: "Hi, I'd like to order."

Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"

Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold
on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610."

Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you
live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone
number's 494-2366. Your office number over at
Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell
number's 266-2566. Which number are you
calling from, sir?"

Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get
all this information?"

Operator: "We're wired into the system,
sir."

Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to
order a couple of your All-Meat Special
pizzas..."

Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea,
sir."

Customer: "Whaddya mean?"

Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate
that you've got very high blood pressure and
extremely high cholesterol. Your National
Health Care provider won't allow such an
unhealthy choice."

Customer: "What do you recommend, then?"

Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean
Yogurt Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it"

Customer: "What makes you think I'd like
something like that?"

Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet
Soybean Recipes' from your local library last
week, sir. That's why I made the
suggestion."

Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two
family-sized ones, then. What's the damage?"

Operator: "That should be plenty for you,
your wife and your four kids, sir. The
'damage,' as you put it, heh, heh, comes to
$49.99."

Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card
number."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid
you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card
balance is over its limit."

Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get
some cash before your driver gets here."

Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your
checking account's overdrawn."

Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas.
I'll have the cash ready. How long will it
take?"

Operator: "We're running a little behind,
sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If
you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em
up while you're out getting the cash, but
carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a
little awkward."

Customer: "How do you know I'm riding a
bike?"

>> Operator: "It says here you're in
arrears on your car payments, so your car got
repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up, so I just
assumed that you'd be using it."

Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!"

Operator: "I'd advise watching your language,
sir. You've already got a July 2006
conviction for cussing out a cop."

Customer: (Speechless)

Operator: "Will there be anything else,
sir?"

Customer: "No, nothing. oh, yeah, don't
forget the two free liters of Coke your ad
says I get with the pizzas."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's
exclusionary clause prevents us from offering
free soda to diabetics."

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