angel228

think b4 you speak
Think before you speak...


Here are six reasons why you should think
before you speak - the last one
is
great!
Have you ever spoken and wished that you
could immediately take the words
back... or that you could crawl into a hole?
Here are the Testimonials
of a
few people who did....


FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband
and three kids in tow and asked
loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo
and a blow job?"

I turned around and walked back out and never
went back My husband didn't
say a word... he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different
kinds of golf balls. I was
unhappy with the women's type I had been
using. After browsing for several
minutes, I was approached by one of the
good-looking gentlemen who works
at the
store.

He asked if he could help me.

Without thinking, I looked at him and said,
"I think I like playing with
men’
s balls"

THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and passed
by a store that sold a variety
of candy and nuts.

As we were looking at the display case, the
boy behind the counter asked
if
we needed any help.

I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your
nuts."

My sister started to laugh hysterically. The
boy grinned, and I turned
beet-red and walked away. To this day, my
sister has never let me forget.
FOURTH TESTIMONY:
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my
toddler decided to release
some
pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally
able to grab hold of her after
receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from
other patrons. I told her
that if
she did not start behaving "right now" she
would be punished.

To my horror, she looked me in the eye and
said in a voice just as
threatening, "If you don't let me go right
now, I will tell Grandma that I
saw you
kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"

The silence was deafening after this
enlightening exchange. Even the
tellers
stopped what they were doing. I mustered up
the last of my dignity and
walked out of the bank with my daughter in
tow. The last thing I heard
when the
door closed behind me, were screams of
laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY:
Have you ever asked your child a question too
many times? My three-year-old
son had a lot of problems with potty training
and I was on him constantly.
One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick
lunch, in between errands. It was
very busy, with a full dining room.

While enjoying my taco, I smelled something
funny, so of course I checked
my
seven-month-old daughter, she was clean.
I then realized that Danny had not asked to
go potty in a while. I asked
him
if he needed to go, and he said "No".

I kept thinking "Oh Lord, that child has had
an accident, and I don't have
>any clothes with me." Then I said,
"Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an
accident?"

"No," he replied.

I just KNEW that he must have had an
accident, because the smell was
getting
worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny
did you have an accident ?

This time he jumped up, yanked down his
pants, bent over, spread his
cheeks
and yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"

While 30 people nearly choked to death on
their tacos laughing, he calmly
pulled up his pants and sat down. An old
couple made me feel better,
thanking
me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of Michigan
laughing for 2 days and a very
embarrassed female news anchor who will, in
the future, likely think
before she
speaks.

What happens when you predict snow but don't
get any! We had a female news
anchor that, the day after it was supposed to
have snowed and didn't,
turned
to the weatherman and asked:
"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised
me last night?"
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but
half the crew did too they were
laughing so hard!

Now, didn't that feel good?
Pass it on to someone you know who needs a
laugh and remember we all say
things we don't really mean, so think before
you speak!!!!!

__________________