vodkkaa

Two doctors opened an office in a small town.
They put up a sign reading: "Dr Smith and Dr Jones, Psychiatry and Proctology."

The town council was not too happy with the sign, so the doctors changed it to: "Hysterias and Posteriors."

This was not acceptable either, so in an effort to satisfy the council, they changed the sign to: "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids."

No go! Next they tried "Catatonics and Colonics" Thumbs down again.

Then came, "Manic-Depressives and Anal-Retentives."

But is was still not good! So they tried:

"Minds and Behinds"

"Analysis and Anal Cysts"

"Nuts and Butts"

"Freaks and Cheeks"

"Loons and Moons"

"Lost Souls and Ass Holes"

None worked.

Almost at their wits' end, the doctors finally came up with a title they thought might be accepted by the council:

"Dr Smith and Dr Jones, Odds and Ends."

APPROVED!

jazz

This is a starter kit for the new and up incoming Physiotherapist. This is to be used and operated by trained professionals ONLY. There is a patent pending so please don’t try and steal my idea. This is NOT to be used for outstanding or delinquent bills!

jazz

WE’ve got a whole slew of great Doctor Jokes that have submitted by our loyal F&J readers, though many of them just aren’t quite long enough to publish by themselves. We’ve taken a few and compiled them here, just for you : )

jazz

Lucky 13, that’s just how many shocking comments this physician claimed his patients actually made while he was performing their colonoscopies. Enjoy! (Not referring to a colonoscopy that is…)

jazz

I’ve never had any major surgery so I consider myself pretty lucky, however not everyone can say that. I get scared just thinking about going under the knife, and if I ever did - these are 10 things that I surely don’t want to hear my doctor say…

jazz

A man goes to his doctor and says, “I don’t think my wife’s hearing isn’t as good as it used to be. What should I do?”

bloggy

Ha ha good jokes related to doctors
waiting for more

__________________
spicy forums

pratik_0088

he he very funny w8ing for more

jazz

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After the checkup, the doctor took the wife aside and told her, "If you don't do the following, your husband will lose his will to live and surely die."

Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast and send him off to work in a good mood.
At lunch time, make him a warm, nutritious meal and put him in a good frame of mind before he goes back to work.
For dinner, fix especially nice meals selected from his favorite foods and don't burden him with household chores or problems.
Make love with him several times a week and satisfy his every sexual whim. On the way home, the husband asked his wife what the doctor had told her.
She replied, "You're going to die."

jazz

A guy is walking past a big wooden fence at the insane asylum and he hears all the residents inside chanting, "Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!

Quite curious about this, he finds a hole in the fence, and looks in. Someone inside pokes him in the eye. Then everyone inside the asylum starts chanting, "Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!

jazz

The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and
his staff was helping transport many of the items.

I sat the display skeleton in the front of my car, his bony arm
across the back of my seat. I hadn't considered the drive
across town. At one traffic light, the stares of the people in
the car beside me became obvious, and I looked across and
explained, "I'm delivering him to my doctor's office."

The other driver leaned out of his window. "I hate to tell you,
lady," he said, "but I think it's too late!"

jazz

A man lost both ears in an accident. No plastic
surgeon could offer him a solution. He heard of
a very good one in Sweden, and went to him.
The new surgeon examined him, thought a while,
and said: " Yes, I can put you right."

After the operation, bandages off, stitches out,
he goes to his hotel.

The morning after, in a rage, he calls his surgeon,
and yells:

"You bastard, you gave me a woman's ears."

"Well, an ear is an ear, it makes no difference
whether it is a man's or a woman's."

"You're wrong, I hear everything, but I don't
understand a thing!"

jazz

Some surgeons were taking a coffee break and discussing their work. The first said, "I think accountants are the easiest to opperate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered."

The second said, "I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order."

The third said, "I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything inside is color-coded."

The fourth one said, "I like to operate on lawyers. They're heartless spineless, gutless, and their heads and ass are interchangable."

jazz

A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"

"I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill."

The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills. When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.

jazz

For his wife's birthday party, a doctor ordered
a cake with this inscription:

"You are not getting older,
You are just getting better."

When asked how he wanted it arranged, he said,
"Just put 'You are not getting older' at the top,
and 'You are just getting better' at the bottom."

It wasn't until the good doctor was ready
to serve the cake that he discovered it read:

"YOU ARE NOT GETTING OLDER AT THE TOP,
YOU ARE JUST GETTING BETTER AT THE BOTTOM.